Why Do I Feel So Unhappy? Ask Yourself These Questions To Get Clarity or Discover Why You're Unhappy

If you are someone who has been experiencing a season of unhappiness, don't understand why you feel so unhappy, and you want to get some clarity of why you're feeling this way, then this message is for you.

This article covers some possible reasons you may be feeling unhappy, some questions to ask yourself and why I care about your happiness enough to write this article.

So, why are you so unhappy?

We sometimes feel unhappy with our lives because of unmet expectations.

The expectations of our loved ones (i.e., parent(s), family, partner, and friends) and from a job that didn't quite match what we desired.

Perhaps your loved one didn't show up for you how you expected them to.

You may be experiencing a challenging season in your relationships, whether personal (i.e., romantic, with your friends or another loved one) or struggling in your professional relationships.

You may be someone who really gives a lot in relationships with people you care about, and you frequently feel that you're giving more than you're receiving.

Other times we are unhappy because of our expectations of ourselves: We believe that we should've been at a particular place in our life at a specific time, and it frustrates us because we're not there.

You are not alone! 

All these reasons are so relatable, and I've had my fair share of them.

We are not alone! 

Truthfully, there are times when you may be unsure of the cause of your unhappiness. 

I've had seasons in my life where I was so happy in one moment and felt completely sad the next moment and didn't understand why. 

It was so difficult to talk to someone about it because my sadness, on the surface, was sometimes caused by something very trivial and silly, like a spill on my shoes or calling my sister and her not answering even though I knew it may be because she didn't see me calling.  

These things seemed so silly to me that in a world full of actual problems, I thought people would think I was insane and being a drama queen. 

In those moments, I wondered, What the heck is wrong with me? These are not even reasons to feel this sad!

It took me a while to finally realize that there are often deeper reasons and that these little moments only triggered those underlying bigger reasons that were the source of my unhappiness.  

So, even if you feel that your reason for feeling unhappy may not make sense because you have a great job, a great relationship, you're healthy, and you think that you have way too much to be grateful for instead of feeling frustrated with yourself for feeling unhappy, I want to assure you that there is nothing wrong with you and that your feelings are very valid.

Discovering Why You’re Unhappy…

"If I had an hour to solve a problem and my life depended on the solution, I would spend the first 55 minutes determining the proper question to ask, for once I know the proper question, I could solve the problem in less than 5 minutes." -Albert Einstein.

It's essential to then get some clarity of the underlying source of why you feel so unhappy.

You can discover why you're unhappy by asking yourself some questions. Below are some questions to get you started. 

Feel free to journal and write your answers down, voice record, speak to yourself in the mirror, talk to someone, whichever you prefer.

Questions:

• Why do I feel so unhappy? 

• Are there things in my life that I have been stressing about? If yes, what are they? 

• Have I been caring for my mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational health?

• Have I been speaking to myself with kindness and love? 

• What are some positive supports that I can turn to at this moment?

• Are my needs met in my relationship with (my partner/friends/job/family/myself, etc.)? If not, what do I need to meet my needs?

• Are there unresolved conflicts that I haven’t dealt with that could be influencing my current feelings of unhappiness?

• Is there someone or something that I need to forgive?

• Am I setting myself up to be unhappy by listening to certain music, watching a particular show or movie, watching too much news of horrible things happening in the world, or am I surrounded by others with negative energy? 

These questions can help you look deep within yourself and discover why you're feeling what you're feeling.

Regardless of why you're unhappy, don't judge yourself for it.

Your reasons are real, and they matter.

Unhappiness is natural and happens to all of us.

However, you don't have to stay unhappy.

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." as Charles R. Swindoll beautifully said. 

 The fact that you're reading this article means you're already showing up for yourself. 

You're an everyday hero who, instead of allowing the negative circumstances in life to completely steal your happiness, you've decided to take control and do something about it!

 Everyday heroes like you primarily focus on the 90% in your control and take charge of your life, and you are inspiring for it! 

You want to be happy, and I also wish happiness for you.

 Why do I care about your happiness?

Because I've been there!

I remember experiencing deep sadness that resulted from feeling abandoned as a child by my father, childhood trauma, sadness as a result of a romantic relationship, or feeling like I lacked direction in my life.

I felt so out of control of my happiness, which led to depression and anxiety. At some point, I believed I would be doing my family, loved ones, and the world a huge favor if I stopped existing. 

Wow! 

I just felt chills run down my entire body because I remember so crystal clear the time I wrote a goodbye letter to my family, planning to end my own life all those years ago.

These seasons of unhappiness felt so lonely, and I often didn't have the words to express them and didn't know who to talk to.

However, I found my way out from being that girl who felt nothing was worth living for. 

Instead, I found my path to a genuinely happy life.

I went from constant frustrations to random moments of, "Man, I have a great life." 

Knowing in your heart that you do not have a PERFECT life but that you do have a GREAT LIFE is a fantastic feeling you deserve to have and enjoy. 

Each of our reasons for lacking happiness at some point in our lives are different.

The cause and reasons for your unhappiness may or may not be as traumatic as someone else's, which is perfectly fine!

You deserve a life of happiness and joy, and I hope the questions listed above will clarify why you feel so unhappy. 

Remember, your feelings are valid, and you're not alone. 

My mission is to bring you the mindset and practical steps to build relationships and a life that takes you from survival to thriving. 

I don't want to just leave you with discovering why you're unhappy. Coming up with solutions is essential to the challenges we face. 

I've put together a fantastic PDF guideline to help you dive deeper into your life and take more control, so you can build a life that enables you to thrive!

If you want to go from just recognizing that you're unhappy and having clarity of why you're sad and instead want to take action steps to actually become happier, YOU NEED THIS PDF. 

To get a free copy, email me with the subject line, 'Unhappy,' and I'll send you your free copy.

You can also DM on Instagram and I'll reach out to you.

If this information has been helpful to you and you would like to return the support, here are some things you can do:  

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I appreciate any support you can provide.

Cheers!

Love,

Maman, Your Relationship Navigator